The Only Defense

Sometimes you see things, hear things, experience things, smell things and do things, and the only thing you can do is laugh. Here is a list of some of those moments for me so far:

*I’ve entered a home, and my neighbor in the seat next to me is a chicken.

*I saw a tanker truck pass with “DANGER PETROL” written on the side of it and something in liquid form is spewing from an open faucet all over the road…did I mention no one seems to mind.

*Not enough room in the mtatoo ((the local van transportation)) for your things? No worries, just attach it to the windshield wipers or the side mirrors. ((this allows for great scenes of vans driving down the road with mattresses, water jugs, grocery sacks, chickens, and all other things attached to the outside of the vehicle wherever it can hang))

*I am riding in a tuk-tuk ((another local transportation, kind of the cross between a three wheeler, golf cart, and bumper car)) and the driver is a maniac, going over bumps that make me leave my seat and hit my head on the ceiling and making U-turns in the middle of the road just as a bicyclist comes flying down the hill, resulting in the bicyclist colliding right into the side of the tuk-tuk

*I am back pedaling to get out of someone’s way unnoticed but forget about the table behind me. I tripped over the table landing flat on my back, just in time for the other person to turn around and see me lying on the floor.

*I walk through the villages and a parade of kids starts following. They run up to shake my hand like I am the president, and they keep saying, “mzungu, how are you? I’m fine” in one breathe over and over and over and over and over…..

*A loose cat climbs through my bedroom window, and a nine year old boy proceeds to chase it around the house trying to get it out the door, but really just causing more damage than good.

*Mary took some Advil for her headache, but then she was paranoid all day that she would turn into a mzungu; even tried convincing me her skin was turning a lighter shade.

*I snuck into the kitchen at night to get a bottle of water, but when I put my hand on what I thought was a rolled up pile of plastic sacks and garbage…much to my surprise and scaring me like crazy, it starts moving and it is a CHICKEN!!! ((Yeah, I don’t know when we got the chicken, but we had a chicken in the house. Although it didn’t last long because the next night it was on my plate; yep came home the next day to find Akorth plucking the feathers out, and then I saw it in its entirety on the charcoal burning…head and all….fun stuff)).

*Robert ((one of the guys in the office)) saw a picture of a marching band and asks, “why do they have to march before they play?”

*I met a Kenyan kid named Thomas Aquinas

*Mary and I exercised in the office, and every “move” we did reminded me of some animal…a frog, a chicken, etc. By the end of it rather than exercising we were rolling on the floor laughing…it was a good ab workout I guess.

*I forgot that the English expressions are not quite the same, and my witty sarcastic comments start to come out. Everyone still thinks its funny, but Robert starts to pick up on these expressions and uses them in the most inopportune times. I realized no one really understood what I was saying in the first place

*I look out on a field that is covered in trash. Someone has started to burn it, but someone has also let their cows graze upon the heap of burning garbage. So through the smoke, all I saw were cows eating in the distance, surrounded by a fire. I don’t know why but I thought it gave an interesting twist to roast beef or having hamburger hot off the grill.

*I continue to realize just how tough the communication barrier is even when both are speaking English. I was trying to ask Ann about visiting this nearby forest, and all she kept hearing me say was something about a fast.

*I was sitting outside enjoying the company of friends, while a couple of dogs gather around and decided they wanted to be lions. No worries they were not interested in me as their prey, only who would be king among their den.

*I was riding along in the truck with the window rolled down. The truck ran over some fresh cow patties in the road, and the tire flung it up onto my arm through the window…yeah really nice…but what can you do but laugh.

*I love when I see men dressed in nice pants and a button up shirt herding cows through the street.

*I am not used to eating so much with my fingers or with so many bones in my food, and I always walk away from the table with food flung all over me and the unfortunate soul who sat next to me, normally Mary is the victim ((she doesn’t know what to do with me sometimes)).

The list could go on and on. I realize some of them probably aren’t as funny if you didn’t experience them first hand, but I hope you got to enjoy a little bit of the laughter I’ve shared with my new friends and family.
Prayers still this week please. I have been sick since Sunday; nothing to worry about, but prayers of healing would be greatly appreciated. And Robert is taking exams, so prayers for a steady mind and firm hand would be good too. And as always, pray for Kenya, pray for the orphans, and pray for LCW. Peace and smiles : )