Thursday, March 5, 2009

Confession: Christ tapped me on the shoulder, and I missed it!

“For I was hungry and you gave me NOTHING to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me NOTHING to drink, I was a stranger and you did NOT welcome me in, I needed clothes and you did NOT clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did NOT look after me.
They will answer, “Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a strnger or needing clothes or sick or in prison and did not help you?
He will reply, “I tell you the truth, whatever you did NOT do for one of the least of these, you did NOT do for me.” -Matthew 25: 42-45
One of my best friends once wrote a drama called KNOCKS. From what I can remember when I saw it, it was about these two people preparing their house and getting ready for an honored guest ((I don’t remember if the audience was told the honored guest was Jesus or maybe I just assumed)) but one way or another the honored guest was Jesus. As the hosts were preparing for the guest, a few different strangers came knocking on their door looking for help- food, clothing, use of the telephone, or a place just to rest. Each time, the hosts turned the visitor away, claiming they could not help because they were preparing for their special guest. By the end of the drama, Jesus never showed up, and the hosts received a phone call from him. They demanded to know why he had not come, and Jesus replies with something like, “I did but every time you turned me away.” The hosts couldn’t believe it; “that was you!” they exclaimed. Jesus had come in the hungry, in the thirsty, as the stranger, as one in need of clothes, in the sick, and as one in prison, and the hosts had missed him.
I went to the rural district of Homa Bay last week, staying from Tuesday to Friday. I went with the project coordinator from the Kisumu office named Peter, and I stayed with the USA missionary living in Homa Bay named Julie. The surrounding community knew I was coming, so everyone was coming to greet me. As with everywhere, it was warm smiles and enthusiastic handshakes. Throughout the week, I got to see, do, and learn a lot.
One day we went to Ruma National Park, which is comparable to a reservation park, that you can drive through and see wild animals ((uncaged)). Two of the more exciting animals I saw were an endangered species only found in this area called roan antelope, and then get ready for it…GIRAFFES!!! Tons and tons of giraffes; it was incredible J Just imagine real live wild giraffes standing by the roadside as you pass. In addition to the visit to Ruma, I did a little work as well. I got to paint the LCW logo and headline on the side of their community posho mill; it was a lot of fun getting to share something I love doing (art) with the people in the community. We also went on a recon-mission for one of the orphans named Purity. Purity had run away from home a week ago, to live with a different aunt, who brews ale for a living, in another district. She had managed to get herself into another school, and we discovered the reason why she had run away was due to the fact that she didn’t want to repeat Class 7, which is what she would have had to do if she stayed in the school she was previously going to. So she thought if she ran to live with this other aunt, then she could join this new better school as a Class 8 student. I loved her ambition to succeed and move forward; unfortunately though, her other aunt was in no condition to care properly for Purity, and we had to take her back to her original guardian and her original school, where she will struggle through Class 7 again. Julie did some counseling with her, and we got her re-instated at her former school with the encouraging words to work hard. I will be going back to Homa Bay in a couple of weeks, and I am eagerly waiting to hear how Purity is doing. Well, like I said, I did, saw, and learned a lot this week, but as I was travelling back from this area ((I believe it is the second most impoverished areas of Kenya)), I missed Jesus. It is time for a confession.
We had been on the road for about 20 minutes, and Peter stopped on the side of the road to run into one of the little shops (four walls of tin and a roof that was caving in) to get some oil for the truck and a newspaper. I was waiting in the truck for his return, and I had the windows rolled down to allow for the breeze. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone standing closely to the truck, but most of the time it is someone trying to sell you something so I thought nothing of it and tried to ignore the gaze. Ignoring is what you do here is you aren’t interested in buying because eye contact gives the seller permission to approach you and hassle you to buy something from them. Well while I was waiting I decided to get out a piece of gum from the bag at my feet; I snuck it into my mouth and stayed looking out the opposite window waiting for Peter. All of a sudden, I felt someone tapping on my shoulder thru the window I was purposefully avoiding. When I turned, I was met by a pair of very sad eyes and an outstretched hand belonging to a young boy dressed in ragged clothes saying, “Add me” (“add” is the word used for “give”). He wanted me to give him something- money, food, something. All I could think about were the reasons why I shouldn’t or couldn’t help. I only had big bills, and then I couldn’t find enough coins fast enough before Peter came back. Everything that came to mind were excuses. I was a bit panicky, and I knew I was missing something. Mind you, the whole time, the gospel of Luke is being read over the radio, I had just been praying about coming across situations like this, it was a young boy asking for my help, and instead of giving and thinking of creative solutions, all I did was lie to him saying I didn’t have anything. He pleaded with me about 3 times before Peter came back to the truck, and we left. As we were leaving, I had this sickening feeling of guilt, and then I remembered I had a few pieces of bread stashed in my bad left over from the week stay at Homa Bay. I wish I could say, I boldly told Peter to stop the car, and then I ran back to the by with the bread, but shamefully, I didn’t. I remained silent; I was a coward, and I started praying for forgiveness. I missed Jesus that day, and rightly so according to Matthew 25:46, I deserve eternal punishment. And what is even worse on my part, about 45 minutes down the road, we were stopped again. He didn’t come up to the window this time, but another young boy was again asking for my help. Peter was in the car, and I didn’t know what he would think about my idea to give the boy the bread. Stupid I know, but I was keeping quiet yet again. Thankfully though, the Holy Spirit got me over my stupidity, and I offered the boy the bread.
I missed Jesus once that day, and I almost missed him again 45 minutes later. I fear I fulfill Isaiah’s prophecy:
“You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving. For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes and hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn.”
Christ was tapping on my shoulder, pleading with me repeatedly to help. How did I miss him?!?!?! And how often I must miss him because I have closed my eyes and covered my ears? I’ve been praying- repentance, forgiveness, and for my calloused heart to be broken. And I’ve been praying that even though I was disobedient, God will be faithful to care for that boy. I ask that you be praying for him as well. AMEN.

1 comment:

  1. WOW! And how things have changed from a few posts ago -- when life seemed so routine there with no apparent opportunities to do GOOD works! I miss Jesus all the time myself -- but I don't feel I deserve eternal punishment for it. I think God is more interested in training us than punishing us! And looks like you got an incredible lesson! YOU GO GIRL! God is a good father -- so patient in teaching us -- and excels at helping us become like Christ!

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