Worst Missionary Ever

Like the title says, I think I have officially become the worst missionary ever. Just hear me out. Stereotypically speaking, I want you to come up with a list of descriptive words you would typically use to describe a missionary. What are some of the stories you hear about the world’s greatest missionaries? What are some of the things you hear when people say, “we are going on a mission trip?” I think the notion would be to say that a missionary is someone who brings a group of people or a person the gospel, while simultaneously doing some type of tangible work in their midst. On mission trips, you go to build homes, renovate something in the community, or lead a VBS. Often at some point, there is supposed to be a sharing of a message with the wisdom you have come to impart, and you are considered really “successful” if you can report back that your message led someone to Christ. Other marks of success are that you’ve left such an impact on the people that they named the house you built after you or maybe there is real physical evidence of how you eradicated the sin and evil in that place and left it full of Jesus. Though probably a bit exaggerated, these are often the pictures we get of what it means to be a missionary, and up against these images, I am a huge failure. I’ve been here about a month, and I have no conversion stories to tell and nothing tangible to put my name on. I can’t take a picture of something I’ve built or a well that I’ve dug, and I really can tell you that I have not done anything of significance; nothing I’ve done would make it in the record book that is for sure. In all actuality, I don’t do much except hang out with the people I work with, the guardians, and the children. More so than anything else, they have been the missionaries to me. BUT I REJOICE IN THIS REVELATION!!!
Though mission trips are good, and great things have happened through missionaries who have dared to obey God and live in the extraordinariness that He calls us ALL too ((the call is discipleship but that will be saved for a later date)), I cannot help but be taught and reminded that maybe these stereotypes of what a missionary is are a little misguided. It is not a matter of me bringing these people God, GOD IS ALREADY HERE!!! And it is definitely not a matter of me bringing anyone out of the pit, for only He can do that. But missionaries show up where God tells them to and are obedient to BE wherever He calls, regardless if it makes sense or not. God is, has been, and will continue to be working here in Kisumu, Kenya, and right now I get to be someone who shows up in that work. In terms of what “success” is in making a difference and turning things around, I am afraid I will always be a failure, but REJOICE with me for God is our redeemer, He is working through vessels and seeds I didn’t even and don’t even know exist, and when we continue in obedience, His plans will prevail. Here is a glorious thing for us to see:
I went back out into the field this afternoon with Robert on the motorbike. We went to visit Beatrice at school. It was getting close to 5pm when we got there, and she was able to visit with us. When Beatrice’s parents died, her and her two brothers went to live with their grandmother. But the grandmother is a very bitter woman after all she’s been through. The hardship of life and losing almost all of her children has really taken its toll. Additionally, so many times people have come promising to help, but they never follow through; she had lost hope. So Beatrice and her brothers went to live on the streets because it was better than living with their grandmother. They soon found themselves going to Agape Children’s home, which is a local ministry for street kids, run by Diane and Steve Warn. They took to Beatrice and recommended her to LCW. LCW immediately started investigating the situation. Beatrice was accepted into the program and reunited with her grandmother as her guardian. Her grandmother kept trying to chase LCW away, but LCW was persistent. They still have been unable to talk with the grandmother to get a full family history (and the grandmother is still very hard to work with), but they are making small strides.
For example, today after we visited with Beatrice at school, we decided we would try to go see the grandmother at home. Robert was a little apprehensive because he did not want us to be chased away while I was with him. But he really wanted to talk with her about sending someone to fellowship on Saturday, so we went. And Robert could not believe it!!! She greeted us with a smile on her face and allowed us to come in to sit for a while. She laughed with us, and she is even sending someone to fellowship. She allowed us to take some pictures and was really just overjoyed. It was a completely different person! Robert was so excited, and I was too.
Beatrice is in class 8, getting ready to take examinations. She has been doing extremely well in school, and she is the success and the hope. God is at work, and He is AMAZING!!!
So here I am, the worst missionary ever, but praise God that He is bigger!!! Please pray that I show up where God is calling, and I have courage enough to obey. Pray that I become vulnerable with the people I’m around and that all barriers, stereotypes and obstacles on every side will be broken. Peace!